Diving in // convincing yourself to do something

I have this difficult problem of just diving in and immersing myself in the word or in a focused life of discipleship sometimes. Somewhere inside is this dead life trying to creep back in to me saying, “you don’t really want to study, that takes up too much of your precious time…when you could be watching tv,” or you don’t really want to spend all that time praying, because that really takes up a lot of time and energy when you could just go take a nap or check out all these blogs or catch up on e-mail…or watch tv.”

The funny thing is, when I leave those distractions and center my affection on Jesus, whether through Scripture or prayer or meditation, there is nothing I want more than to just stay there in that place that I’ve become immersed in. There is a sweetness there that is inviting. Growth takes place. Conviction occurs. Healing, redemption and restoration. I would give anything to stay there and not have to be pulled away into other things. All of the aforementioned distractions take this back seat and I’m ready to commit to “Oh, I’ll never be distracted by those things again.” I just want to stay in this place, here, doing these things.”

But as soon as it comes time again to spend that intentional time, the distractions are back and the resistance to press in to a new place. And, its like I have completely forgotten how amazing that moment was last time I was in it.

Why cannot I not overcome this?