relationships // a little help please
Wednesday, 29th April 2009
All Skate…
I’m lasering my focus in on relationships both vertical and horizontal, meaning I want stuff that deals with my relationship upward and His relationship downward as well as my relationship outward, and everyone else’s relationship inward toward me.
What’s the best advice you’ve heard on relationships as it applies to either of the above?
What are your biggest questions/struggles on relationships as it applies to either of the above?
What’s the best material you’ve got or that’s out there on relationships as it applies to the either of the above?
Go…
lee
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 8:54 am
communication is my biggest struggle. it doesn’t matter whether its being honest with God, Lace, or my friends…honest, raw communication is the biggest thing He’s wearing on right now. advice…just tell me how it is.
Valerie
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 9:00 am
The best advice I have with relationships involving God and our loved ones, etc.. is to LISTEN., really listen, with your whole being. As in: stop, look at the person, nod, etc. Same thing wtih God. Stop, put my pen down, fall on my face… just listen. So guess what my biggest struggle is in relationships?
(no comments from my former husband please!) It’s what I crave from my own relationships– and also with God– and what I tend to do the least of myself!
LISTENING!
Deborah Fillmer
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 9:03 am
Communication is the lock, listening and responding are the keys.
Phillip
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 9:08 am
Actually spending time with people that I have, or want to have relationships with is my struggle. Of course I spend plenty of time with my Fiancee, and I do have one friend I see a lot because I work with him, but I never really spend time with anyone else.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s me not making an effort, or if it’s them not caring if I make an effort.
Also, there are many people I would like to have a relationship with, but it just seems like it can’t or won’t happen, and that gets frustrating.
Emily
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 9:23 am
Biggest struggle, without a doubt…PRIDE, the bad kind, with the Lord, and others. I definitely need help and there are definitely things I should ask for, but I am way too prideful to ask. “It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.”
“When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom.” Prov. 11:2
So, advice…HUMILTY. Truly putting others first on a regular basis. Pride for me is often built from hurt, and therefore it is really hard to humble yourself, because it feels a little vulnerable.
Material…the only thing that comes to mind (and I am sure there is a LOT out there) is the book by John Baker called “Life’s Healing Choices.” It follows the Celebrate Recovery material very closely, and has a lot of information on how to repair relationships with God, others, and our views of ourselves. The steps in it are applicable to just about any type of situation.
Jonathan
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 9:25 am
Yeah, I struggle with honest communication also. Two series that I like on marriage relationships are Tim Keller’s series Marriage, and Jean Larroux series 7 Relationship Issues Jimmy Buffett Sang About.
Susan
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 11:15 am
Each relationship is based on love, if you don’t get the love right the relationship will falter. Love is an action not an emotion. Christ died for us out of love yet even his human side asked the Father, “If it is possible, take this cup from me ” but because He loved us and His Father more than himself…He died on the cross for our sins. Our actions and behaviors should show that we love God, our behaviors should also show that we love our spouses, family, and fellow man. In response to your question…my struggles with relationships, both with God and with humans, is often tainted by my emotions. One has to be diligent, always guarding our ears against the enemy’s lies.
slagley
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 11:17 am
“The worst thing you can do at any time and in any relationship is to not say what is on your heart(as long as it is something you truly believe in) or ask the question that is eating away inside. Either you are wrong, and someone can share wisdom, or you are right and you can share the wisdom you have been given.” – I suppose the tag would be communication, but it has helped me in my upward, inward, and outward relationships.
BJ
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 11:35 am
The verticle must precede the horizontal. It’s when we start to understand His love for us that allows our love to be poured out horizontally in our relationships with people, which would have to be true for someone else as well (the whole inward love thing).
My biggest struggle is that i tend to try and love people first instead of God, and of course it should be the other way around.
I don’t know too many resources on this, but you any of the Relationship series’ from Grace Campus are great.
Will Polley
Wednesday, 29th April 2009 at 11:13 pm
As for dating relationships:
“Keep it vertical.” -Matt Dean. Both in regards to focusing on God and not laying on the couch with your girlfriend. I guess its ok to do that with your wife.
I also have a pink piece of paper full of great stuff I would share if I had a scanner.