Pursuing Righteousness // reckless abandon in a holy direction

This week a challenge was extended to me unknowingly (unknowingly by the other person, I actually knew it, otherwise this post would be non-existent) that has deeply affected my every waking moment and actually in turn stirred some other conversations about my journey with Christ. It deals with my own pursuit of righteousness/lack thereof, or what is perhaps more beautifully stated as reckless abandon in a holy direction. A little of my story:

My senior year of high school, I went crazy…in a good way. I said whatever, whenever, wherever for Your glory and not my own. As a result some amazing events took place that year, I’d love to tell you about them, but not on the blog, you can ask me in person. Then college happened and there was still a great zeal in my Spirit…but not as it once was. Shortly after my freshmen and sophomore years, I helped plant a church, and I was zealous for the work, but I wonder if a switch took place there in that I was more focused on working for Jesus as opposed to being with Jesus. Kristen and I got married and moved to Birmingham, and I feel like more of the same was happening. The story goes on, but here I am wondering if I missed something along the way. I wonder if I missed understanding what it means to say, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have their nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” And, “let the dead bury the dead, but you go and proclaim the Kingdom of God.” And, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

I feel quite certain that somewhere along the way I disregarded the reckless abandon but put up a front as though it was still full on in my life. Recently, however, the Spirit has been challenging me in ways that have made me say, “What are you doing, why are you doing this to me, what do you want to do with me? etc.”

The response is, “I want you to pursue me again, come follow me. Let’s do crazy things together.” He has given me a scope of the eternal somehow, though I cannot explain it, that has helped me understand how short my time is. Its only with this in view, the vastness of who He is, and what He is up to, that I’m able to get stirred up about those crazy things. But they scare me to death. When you do crazy things, people get upset because of a couple of things: 1) they can’t control what God is doing, 2) they sense the need in their own life to fully surrender and that just messes up their world.

So, what next…I don’t know. I know it involves some personal wholesale changes. It involves me not beating around the bush any longer with my own personal sin, it involves me changing the level of my speech, it involves me loving my bride better and leading her with excellence. It involves me not being a punk towards people. It means I’ve got to lead with excellence in my position.

It means I have to return to saying “yes, wherever, whenever, whatever.”