To Be Held // a new perspective

Last night I had that privilege to feel all those little movements of our son Cash (that’s his name) as he is growing and stretching as God continues to “knit him together inside his mother’s womb.” We believe that passage and we pray for him as God does what only he can do in bringing a life into the world. At one point, I put my finger to Kristen’s stomach and I’m convinced that Cash fist-bumped me.

As I sat there feeling him move all over the place, I began to understand what all these people are saying when they say, “Your perspective is about to change.”

It matters not how much I “know” that God is not going to love me more for how much time I spend studying his word or how much time I spend doing things in his name, or how much I talk about him, I still try and try and try to earn his favor. I know this is not just me. This is a human problem. Since the fall, we’ve all at some level, or at some point in our life,  sought to do our part in gaining God’s favor to no avail. We can’t do anything to earn that love. It’s just there for us.

Last night I got a little glimpse at a different angle that dramatically changed my perspective of what I’ve known to be true but have failed to completely grasp, namely: God just loves me, he just wants me in relationship with him, he just wants to hold me, I bring him great joy just because I’m his son.

I don’t want anything from Cash (except for him to just be here), I don’t need anything from Cash, he’s can’t really do anything for me, he can’t earn any more of my love because he has it all. He’s my son. Perspective changed.